Putz and Klutz return after a decade of hiding

Jacob Braginsky

This year’s homecoming will feature a dynamic duo like no other. While these two are complete strangers to nearly the entire student body, they are no strangers to the Wildcat gymnasium. 

 

Putz and Klutz are back for the first time in a decade, and their message to EHS is clear: “We are here to pump you up.” Spanning over 27 years, their relationship is fixated on fun, stopping at nothing to stretch the limits of what is allowed. Putz and Klutz have attempted every possible display of daringness, raising the extremes year after year. From riding through the gym on motorcycles to kidnapping other mascots, from swinging through the gym on ropes to serving time and breaking out of jail, Putz and Klutz have proven that “fear,” “recklessness,” and “consequences” are not in their vocabulary.

With stellar performances and clean reputations, there were no signs of slowing down for Eagan’s once infamous pair. However, increasing pressure to consistently deliver on a high level forced them to resort to controversial measures. Klutz tested positive for steroids, a strictly prohibited performance-enhancing substance. Upon discovery, the homecoming administration placed a swift 10-year ban on Putz and Klutz’s annual presentation, a ban that expires in 2022, just in time for the pep fest. 

Get ready for Putz and Klutz to return as if they’d never left. The duo will continue to experiment in new fields, with Klutz getting his first ever shot at the school-wide rock-paper-scissors title. In the Eagan Independent’s exclusive interview, the two-man team did not disclose any more information on their 2022 routine.

As rumor’s about Putz’s final year circulate, the stakes for this year’s homecoming only continue to rise. Whether or not this truly is Putz and Klutz’s last dance, one thing is certain: behind every outrageous stunt is unmistakable Eagan spirit, embodying the soul of a school that craves victory in every discipline.